It doesn't actually end up with a lot of tears. Just a bit for a moment.
Plus, I admit that I made a silly immature mistake a year ago (tuyang tudam turealise) but see how I tried fix it.
It doesn't turned up to what I hoped, but I'm still good with it.
That's why I think I want to share how I face my break up story.
Sebenarnya lebih kurang macam cerita AADC2 tapi aku Rangga. hahaha
Kesalahan aku adalah Block dia masa nak masuk Final Year sampailah Graduate.
Stuck in my academic issue, my marks dropped and I blamed him for that (immature act of me).
So that's why, during the Final Year, I decided to block him and go on.
The mistake is, I did without any explanation but I assumed he can guess why. Because we've been through that many times. It's not that we never had that kind of discussion, we did but it doesn't turn out well. You see how strong our love was? haha
But the feelings fade away bit by bit throughout the year yet so afraid to get back.
During the graduation, I saw his mom and his brother, but I didn't see him at all.
I don't mind, as long as we can meet and greet, that would be good for the last time, probably.
But I missed the opportunity. Damn.
So I texted (whatsapp) his mom. No reply.
I texted him also got no reply.
This stressed me out. Banyak perkara tak jelas dan tak dapat nak jelaskan.
Macam Rangga kan aku, "tolonglah Cinta replyyyyyy"
So I texted him again, yet doesn't mean I want to get back together again,
just hear my explanation and I wanna hear your honest reply, that's all.
Tapi tengok lah ni, tak honest pun. Ergh
We need to have a meet-up, face to face. Because this thing involve emotion roller coaster gitu. Kalau buat karangan, read with wrong emotions - false interpretation pulak.
Nak cakap pasal nak jumpa pun gaduh, dia tak nak. wth bro. tak gentle betul tak nak jumpa.
But that's okay, I'll meet your mom. And she's cool for that. Alhamdulillah!
But my mom afraid kalau it doesn't turn out well. My mom afraid kalau kena basuh dengan aunty.
She's afraid kalau aku balik daripada jumpa tu muka sedih.
That's kind of scared me out, because I didn't expect anything bad could happen.
But it will turn out to be really bad and very sad to me if I didn't get the chance to explain.
So I have to explain, and whatever happened next, I don't care and I can accept whatever it is.
So I meet her face-to-face,
"Saya minta maaf aunty, tentang kami. It doesn't turned out well at the end. I knew it was my fault....blablabla..."
I explained out all from my heart and I done my part.
I believed I can accept whatever her response is,
"Tapi kan, dia dah ada 'kawan baru' ni..."
['Kawan Baru' means calon baru lah bagi yang bingung tak paham. Takpe, aku pun tak paham mula-mula]
I... I.... I laughed out loud died in my heart. kahkahkah
Oh My God, so funny, it just reminds me of sweet sweet things dulu you know... like "you're the only one. I'll never choose anyone besides you." but at the end, his words against him.
Sampai sekarang aku tak boleh stop gelak bila teringat balik. Kelakar betul lah lelaki ni.
Tapi aku tak cakap lah dekat aunty tu.
Dengan senyum macam nak gelak:
"Oh ye ke aunty. alhamdulillah ler kalau macam tu. Nasib baik saya dengar ni aunty, dan saya memang patut kena dengar ni..."
Maksudnya kalau saya nak kahwin lain takde hal dah lah. betul tau. It's a relief. Dia ni pun cakap je lah dah ada lain, kenapa susah sangat. Tak elok tau buat perempuan macam ni.
Kejam. Memainkan perasaan perempuan.
Mungkin aunty ingat aku kecewa, jadi dia banyak ulang-ulang sebab macam tak confirm lagi tapi "dia yang bagi aunty bagi tahu ni". Meaning confirm lah tu. Snap. Yet I've explained that I'm coming here not to get back together again macam dulu tu dah.
So at the end of the 'dating' tu, I gave a small gift where a fresh grad could afford to buy.
Alhamdulillah everything settled.
Alhamdulillah that I heard that.
Cuma yang geramnya, tak dengar pun daripada mulut dia sendiri. Dia kena tahu dia ada salah dengan aku juga, tapi tak apa lah, boleh harap ke nak dengar kata maaf tu daripada lelaki yang macam ni? Abaikanlah.
Akhir kata, yang aku boleh kata, aku bersyukur sangat. Banyak perkara belajar daripada kejadian ini.
Next time, penting juga interview dengan bakal mertua, sebab bila berborak tu baru kita tahu keluarga ni kecenderungannya di dalam hidup yang singkat ini kearah mana.
Dan kita nilailah kita akan selesa atau tidak untuk berada bersama keluarga itu untuk selama-lamanya nanti. you hear me? Selama-lamanya. nilailah melalui borak jumpa-jumpa, bukan facebook nor mana-mana social media. Itulah fitenah yahudi ter main assume assume orang ni macam mana melalui pesbuk.
So girls, take the courage to explain if you have to. Low down your ego.
You can do this alone.
Act like a lady, think like a man.
All the best.