Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Cintan

Perhatian : Entri ini mungkin menggelikan bagi sesiapa yang tidak pernah bercinta dengan lain jantina.

EWW FACE. credit to: http://www.polyvore.com

Bagi yang tak pernah bercinta seperti saya dulu2, kita anggap perkara ni mudah.
semudah menyelesaikan kiraan matematik tambahan.
semudah memikirkan soal ekonomi negara.
kita rasa mudah tepis je benda2 negatif ni. dah tahu negatif kan

Dan dalam diri kita senang-senang je, aku nak laki yang baik, aku tak nak yang jahat.
ya, itu memang pilihan semua orang.
tapi, menjadi susah bila kau dah jumpa orang baik kau mesti tak nak lepaskan dia tapi dalam masa yang sama kau tak nak lukakan hubungan dengan Allah dan Rasulullah SAW.

ni lah biolnya, aku tak tahu macam mana nak selesaikan perkara ni.

Cinta ni kan, lain.
sebab tu orang kata cinta tu buta.
kau takkan faham sepertimana kau faham niat sesebuah parti politik itu. haha.

ok jom ambil pengajaran daripada kesilapan ini.

First, basically i just describe general characteristic about this guy. so you can understand why its hard for a person to let him go
apparently,.... assume he was like this
Credit: http://www.toptenz.net/
haha. actually not really look alike. this face just better than him. oooo... shut up youu... orang buruk mana pun hati baik pun memang tak boleh blah tau kalau da tersuke.
ok. he is very nice. I hurt him, but he never hurt me back. he just blame himself for what I did... yes again, for what I did. He is an honest man. He works a lot { ahaaa highly potential to become future-aha. haha. He is cold-tempered . so , these are the reasons i loved him. of course, nice right.
Now, before we go for the next thing,

Watch this complicated love story..
Credit : minimalistica.org
29 January 2012 - I love him. He loves me. We 'look' cool. We text, we exchange numbers.. but we never met.

until

February 2012 - [just about a month this relationship going on] we broke, because I was the one who feels this is wrong. For love expertise, I don't know who do you think the one should be blame. For me at that time, I was right, that this relationship is wrong. The reason why I'm not feeling comfortable with.
So, we UNFRIEND. to get rid from each other.

then it goes nothing. 96.7% nothing. 6.3% more we just suddenly tercontact on facebook group the comment2 stuff.
Sometimes I did stalk him just to see what he was doing. ok, when i saw, he just like the old days. kid. and for me, he can change, no worries kak Jah. hakuna matata. takpe, bagi dia peluang. haha tu lah hati perempuan. bayyek sangaaatttt so I tried to give him a hint in somewhere else he can see. I assume he understand what I want, I want he to be better by delete the wasting-time stuff. useless stuff. oh well, im very 'goooood' in assuming a person. -_-

until

Credit : oscarcompletist.blogspot.com

23/25 January 2013 - He add my FB back. my heart says "YES! FINALLY!" my mind says, "Why are you doing this!? BLACK SINS old days can begin again!" so within like 2/3/4 days I stalk him. long time enough I forgot about what he's doing. this stalk is seriously stalk to see if he had any changes made.

29 January 2013 - I took a step to clarify all these blurry things sebab macam tergantung. That night suddenly we took a fight in facebook message sampaikan masing2 menghitung nikmat Allah. aku IPTS aku IPTA lah.kau ade Xperia aku Torchlight je. Astaghfirullah. I'm the one who was gone mad because he still a boy. not a man just like his 'tough body'. He did not change. I was thinking that, he add me back "did he ready to begin again?" Then, if he wants to begin again, he must have to change. should be. Because, we are almost in 20an world. come on a, we don't want to settle this thing with kid's mind imagination just like the old days 2012. or 'JUST BE FRIENDS' zone just like the old days? 'Just friend' can turn to 'Just Couple' again. who knows. since we could not control each other's heart, and using minda budak2-nak perkara indah sahaja dalam dosa pn tak apa. ishhh

This is what mess up 60% following your mind, 40% following your heart.
but the worst is if we following 60% our heart, and the rest using your mind, or lesser than that.
Credit : www.theeggyolks.com


maturely I was thinking, HE CAN BE BETTER THAN THIS. and he should be. and I may be can give him a chance. just maybe ok.

An ordinary person like him, of course have negativity in him. no. not really negative. but like a KID. but that is negative for 20s man.
He loves game. He loves his twitter.
I would never said, his game against me, more important than me. no.
ok, for me, we as a teenager a long time ago , about 17-18 years old jokes, games, wasting-time stuff it is our teenager old days.
but we are about to enter 20an world. takkan la nak game lagi?

Credit : school.discoveryeducation.com

about twitter, I ask him "Can you delete your Twitter account?" after we argued, I think this is what he understand
"Kau suruh aku tutup akaun Twitter aku supaya kau tak boleh stalk aku? Melupakan aku kan tanggungjawab kau, ape hal twitter aku pulak?"

Credit : www.breitbart.com

ok he dont get it.
This is my understanding towards twitter. Twitter is a useless thing. You post meaningless thing, and people read without any beneficial outcome.
dan twitter ni membuatkan kita tersekat untuk berubah sebenarnya.
Sebab kat dalam twitter, kau dah ada follower, following, tweets yang banyak. dan mereka masing2 lumba hebat, "Ini tweet ke 33,3333 :33 selamat malam", contohnya. dan perkara ni semua kita rasa usaha kita, dan kita tak nak lepaskan. usaha? tak jugak. tapi kita rasa satu kerugian kalau kita delete twitter sebab follower dah banyak, tweets dah banyak. walaupun ada SantapanMinda UAI ke, tapi kawan2 kita punya tweets lagi 24 jam ada je. nak kene 'terbaca' jugak. benda2 santapanminda UAI tu sume like/favourite kejap je, tu la yang kita tak amalkan.
nampak tak twitter ni useless? bila kau mudah tinggalkan perkara ni terlebih dahulu, kau akan rasa bebas, mudah dan tak tersekatkan diri daripada expose di khalayak ramai. nak tuntut ilmu, tuntut betul2. bukan sekali pandang nampak like dah.
memang, kau tak buat benda2 yang ternyata dosa, kau tak fitnah, kau tak kutuk orang.. memang.
sebab benda "At least"2 tu, kau akan kata diri kau DAH BAIK.
Kau takkan jahat weh dengan twitter, tapi kau takkan jadi lebih baik dengan twitter.

do you get it?
dengan meninggalkan perkara sia2 ni lah kau boleh berfikir matang. buat lawak pun matang.
thats why im asking.

If he said he can change, i think this case can really go in peace. sebab, jika dia ada kata nak berubah pada lebih baik kerana Allah,[aku hanya menyampaikan] insyaAllah, Allah bagi yang lebih baik untuk dia. Allah bagi dia jumpa orang yang lebih daripada aku.

bagi aku lah, kalau lelaki yang aku suka dah ada orang suka, tak apa. aku takkan kacau. because itu baru namanya takdir. they were meant to be together. sebab lebih baik jangan bermadu. kasihani wanita pertama. haha camtulah.

Whatever he does, whenever he change to not be good, this is love, i cant resist.
but, after talking about all this trash, and I was hoping other readers reading this, may have beneficial outcome.
All i learned now, and i am implying it since the first silent broke up, i never done the same mistake again as i did to him. nampak laki baik sket, mulut manis, terus add. fuhh tak buat dah. memang gelabah unye ompuan. relek2 je a en, member kat group je.WHOEVER ARE YOU, NEVER START IT. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. OR YOU GOING TO BE SUFFER IN SILENCE THAT COULD NEVER CLEAR IT ON YOUR MIND.

Credit : http://www.flickr.com/photos/53901058@N02/8028773260/


Finally. nak cakap pasal Taylor Swift ni pun sekor. ada je lagu2 dia terkena ngan aku.
Dulu, BACK TO DECEMBER.

Sekarang, BEGIN AGAIN, lagi best WE ARE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER, and paling kene ngan aku I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE, so shame on me now~~ haha
tapi dia tak trouble pun. cuma tak paham. bese la tu. bagi dia ruang berfikir, lama2 ada time tu dapatlah sket fikir matang.
apa2 pun, hubungan diteruskan atau dimusnahkan semua MALU tu kat perempuan. memang perempuan. Lelaki memang takde masalah. nak malu pun apenyeh, hapah tak kesah. hahoo jadi, salah kita ya perempuan.

and second thing, couple itu dah haram tetap haram, jangan kita cuba menghalal-halal kannya.

ya, MANUSIA BIASALAH MELAKUKAN KESALAHAN, tapi manusia tak biasa meminta maaf atas kesalahannya.

Hai kau yang terasa kau orangnya, aku minta maaf. cara ni baru boleh faham kot kat blog. aku send2 kat message facebook ada message tak sampai lah. mood dan perasaan dan fikiran bertukar2. pikir nak jumpa for the first time and last time, tapi ceith, bleh caye ke 'for the last time'. ah, so aku explain kat blog. boleh la send kat twitter "aku marah hari ni" tetibe. -_- hehe. ampun ya pak. semuanya salah gue.

OK. THANK YOU semua. AND PLEASE NEVER START A LOVE WITH A "LOOKING GOOD" MAN, KID.

REMEMBER : CINTA YANG YAKIN DAN SUCI DAN SEGAR, ADALAH CINTA SELEPAS PERKAHWINAN SAHAJA. itu sahaja yang halal dan tiada keraguan seperti benda2 ni yang timbul.
ok?

wassalam.

KJ
aku Khairy Jamaluddin.
hoi jangan masuk paper
aku  KJ; Kirana Jasmani. tetibe